Right or left, Twix battles are all the rage!
Right or left, Twix battles are all the rage!

The Great Twix Debate

December 16, 2021

I’ll be completely honest here. You aren’t going to get a completely unbiased news story from me here. This debate spawned from an argument between myself and my former friend turned mortal enemy, Nathan Zacate. He made the bold claim that the right side of a Twix is better than the left side. This shocked me. Seeing as his objectively wrong opinion clashed violently with my objectively right opinion, we decided to settle it once and for all with a poll.

The two of us went around to different classrooms, asking various students the same question: “left Twix or right Twix?”. The results were very split. Blood was shed. Friendships were broken.

Check out this sweet graph. The yellow part of this sick graph represents the Left Twix voters, while the red part represents New Ulm High School’s convicted felons.


As you can see from the results, Left Twix came out on top with 58 votes, while Right Twix only received a measly 52 votes. Democracy wins again. New Ulm Public High School has spoken. The war is won. The sun shall shine upon the great heroes who fought bravely for the legacy of Left Twix.

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